It’s not easy to be a mom, even more so during this challenging time. Whether you are deciding to stay at home with your family or getting back to routine (whatever that means), it can be a stressful time for everyone.
As I reflect on my own motherhood journey, I realize that there are 7 things that I need to do as a mom.
These are essential things to help me be a better mom and hopefully help you too.
As always, I would encourage you to take a look and see what applies to you. These are what I find are important, especially during this pandemic and as a toddler mom.
In this blog post, there are 7 things that I want you to do as a mom. Being a mom myself, I am guilty of not doing all of these things.
So, let’s do these together and be the best that we can be.
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Here are 7 things you need to do as a mom:
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1. Give Yourself Grace
We can be so hard on ourselves as moms.
Are we doing enough? Is this activity or this toy that I’ve prepared for her going to help her in her development?
Is this food that I’m preparing meet all the nutrients that s/he needs for their daily intake?
Lots of questions go through our heads.
It can be overwhelming.
What we as moms (or dads) need to do is to give ourselves grace.
Grace to be good enough. Grace to forgive ourselves when we make mistakes.
Be kind to yourself. We are all trying to figure this out.
Especially during the pandemic or a stressful time in our lives, we need to give ourselves grace.
When you give yourself grace, you can then pick yourself up and move forward.
2. Check On Your Mom Friends
This one is so important.
Check on your mom friends. Your friends who are mothers (I mean I guess you can check on your mom’s friends too if you want). Your coworkers who are mothers.
See how they are doing and share your own struggles.
You are not alone. They too can feel that they are not alone.
It’s also really nice to hear when someone is seeing how you’re doing.
A simple text or call would be nice.
If it helps, you can also call each other on WhatsApp or Zoom for your kids to have a ‘play date’. This can help combat the loneliness and encourage communication with one another.
3. Let Go Some of Your Expectations
Whether you are going through a challenging time or not, we need to adapt to whatever situation we are placed in.
Letting go of some of our expectations or modifying them can be really helpful.
When we were first told to stay at home, I was really excited to start potty training my daughter. However, I did not know that the stress of working from home while taking care of a toddler full time can be a lot to take in.
We started the process, but she was not ready.
It was a struggle.
Then, I reevaluated whether it was the right time and decided that we would do it later.
We would still ask her if she wanted to go and she would tell us occasionally (except for #2, which she would tell us most if not all the time).
Letting go of this expectation (for now) helped us all to be less stressed out. I will try this again later when she shows more signs of readiness.
So letting go of some of our expectations and revisiting them later is necessary for this challenging time.
4. Ask For Help
This can be a tricky one. For those of us who are staying at home, it is hard to ask for help from others to watch your kids because you’re not allowing people into your home.
However, this is what I have been doing.
I have been calling my family everyday and M’s family occasionally to chat through video.
This is what I call “virtual babysitting”.
It allows my daughter K to talk to them and build that strong connection with family members without needing to leave the house.
Asking for help (whether in person or virtually) helps you to have a break once in a while.
We all need that.
Having some time to yourself will help you be a bit more rested before you give give give as a mom.
5. Take It One Day At A Time
You know the phrase, “One step at a time”.
This is the same. Taking one day at a time with your kids can help you focus on what you need to do that day.
Tomorrow will have its own worries (I think that’s from a Bible verse).
Yes, you can plan for tomorrow but also enjoy today.
Embrace the craziness, peace and quiet, and whatever comes today. Then, embrace tomorrow the same.
6. Don’t Forget About Yourself
After saying all that, don’t forget about yourself.
Your kids, the dog, your husband, your mother-in-law all need you. However, you also need to take care of yourself.
Set a time when it’s just you. Whether it’s 10 minutes or an hour, make it clear to everyone that it is your time.
Related: Self Care Ideas as a New Parent
When your cup is filled, then you can give to everyone else.
Please know that you are worth it.
7. Don’t Compare Yourself With Other Moms and Kids
Last, but not least, stay on your journey.
It is not easy to NOT compare yourself with others.
However, use it as an inspiration to improve on your parenting but not as a competition.
You do not need to be better than the Jones or Lees or whoever.
All you need to do is to take inspiration and see how you can develop as a mom and how you can provide the best for your baby. If other moms have great ideas about organization for toys, see how you can apply some of the concepts into your own home.
Do not let comparison with other moms and kids steal your joy.
Remember that we are all working towards being the best mom that we can be.
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